4 crushes of my life
16th January 2019 Wednesday
5:57AM
I don’t know, if I could write something that may possibly explain how I feel for her. It’s again one of the days where I can’t go back to sleep because I woke up and started thinking about her.
Although yesterday was a good day, it wasn’t so low. One thing is, I don’t usually feel so strongly for anyone, but when I do it’s this super strong feeling and for some dumb reason, I start hoping that this other person will understand me, which never really happens.
I had 4 simple crushes in my life
(well since names are generic I guess I can use them, it’s not like you can figure out who the person is)
First one was in school, when I was in 11th class. I saw her in physics classes, back then I never really approached her or maybe was scared to. She was kinda like my first crush, Shruti. There were a lot of things going on in life and I thought, I should focus on getting into good college otherwise this may ruin it. When I got into college around 1st year, I pinged her one day (2 years after I saw her). We sorta started chatting occasionally, once told her that I had crush on her in school, that was a long conversation though. We are still kinda connected as in, in couple of months I check on her if she’s doing okay. I don’t have any such feeling for her now, you know that kinda attraction, still I like to keep in touch as friends because I know how I strongly I felt for her once.
Second one was in college, oh this one was rough, it was … this needs an entire day to explain and a lot of booze, a lot.
Third one was in Bangalore during job and this was super quick, like a roller coaster ride, it all happened in a week. I saw her in office cafeteria and she was like this super pretty girl. She’s Shweta. I never thought that I would even feel the same after my college’s heart break but I kinda did. There’s a bit of funny back story around her, maybe will tell some other day. Somethings happened and it never panned out.
And you already know the fourth one if you are reading this.
For one thing, I thought after past three heart breaks, I’m not gonna fall like this for anyone else, ever! I will focus on my career. Well, stupid stupid heart! it went out again and pissed everywhere.
This one also became like my college crush, super sad and gonna need a lot, lot of booze to talk about. How simple were the days back when we were kids, no such longing and stupid feelings. The only ones we felt something were for our parents and siblings and we had no worries to loose them. I just wanna sleep. This insomnia is killing me.
