For someone who deserves the stars and the moon
31st October 2018 Wednesday
10:15AM
Yesterday night was very depressing, I just kept walking between the two walls of my room until my legs felt tired and eventually laid down and slept, I just can’t get her out of my head.
Woke up back at around 7AM, didn’t sleep well but that’s usual now. Now I am sitting thinking, should I go to office, seeing her resurrects all the embarrassing things I have done, bad decisions and regrets, making me realise what a failure I have become.
I don’t think I can fight this anymore, I’m gonna break one of these days. I remember the week before quitting this job, I used to go to office just to see her and now there’s no reason, no reason to wake up and go through the day.
The truth is, after today she will be gone on vacation and I won’t be able to see her for quite some time. Although it craps me and messes up my head, but I do wanna see her and I don’t know how I’m gonna survive this vacation. Well if you look at it, she’s already with someone so am screwed anyway.
11:48 AM
Well, she’s doing work from home today and it’s kinda good though. I would have crapped out if I saw her today.
All the time it feels like, there’s so much of pain and suffering, I just want to spend some time with her, doesn’t matter as a friend or colleague or whatever, I just wanna talk to her.
9:08PM
It was an okay day, didn’t bother me much. Like I said in past, sometimes it feels like there should be someone, with whom I can go out on a walk, can call her anytime and talk, just not to feel this alone. At other times the feeling is very specific to her, like I just want to see her one more time, I miss her so much.
Today was more of a “just missing someone” feeling.
Just saw her status on whatsapp, she created her own site and I feel like telling her “yeeeah!! way to go.., it’s amazing!”. I don’t know why but it makes me happy to see her do good. She may despise me but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a great writer and one day she’s gonna be pretty famous too.
She writes in these simple words, no fancy vocabulary, no complicated story line, just a plane simple story but the way her story goes,.. man! it’s really something else, it’s kinda magic, you read it once and you will fall in love. Only difference is, in my case I fell for her too, nevermind.
I hope wherever she is, she gets all the happiness in this world, she deserves it and even more.
There’s this line in one of the movies “for someone who deserves the stars and the moon and all I got her are these damn flowers”, well I couldn’t even get her those.
