Belongs to me

25th June 2019 Tuesday

8:52 PM

I think I’m a highly depressed individual, I realise I need clinical help and sometime back I was looking for it too, I did go to a psychologist and all but now I guess I don’t want to.

It’s like I’m comfortable in my own little sad world, this sadness is the only thing that belongs to me, at some point you accept your fate and it’s okay. Maybe that’s all I’m ever gonna be.

I still like her a lot, feelings never really left, it’s just that there were moments when it hurt a little less or maybe I had no choice to do anything about it which made me feel so helpless, so more or less didn’t matter. I am all sorts of screwed up and weird but I know now, its okay.

Still if some pretty girl walks by I kinda miss her, well who am I kidding I miss her all the time. I just didn’t realize in initial phase that I would obsess so much on her and she would mean so much to me.

Have you ever been at a place you couldn’t leave and you couldn’t stay, all at the same time? …feels like my office. It’s not all bad although, it’s good for her, I would have sucked her into my miserable little world and crapped her life, what did I ever do for anyone anyway, I was never really there. And I was sad even before her, it just hurts a bit more after her so what does it matter anyway, the world’s not gonna stop spinning, even if I quit, she will still go to office like just another day, I never really mattered, I wonder if she will even remember my name.

God!! I miss her so darn much.